Make a decision

Just decide!

I finished my last report tonight for this academic year. These reports need to be in tomorrow and so I had left it till the last minute. I wasn’t up doing an all-nighter like I have done in the past, and I did start them about a week ago, but why didn’t I do them earlier? The simple reason is because at no point earlier on did I make a commitment to finishing or even starting the reports.

Making a decision makes all the difference and is the catalyst to true change.

When I was younger I was obsessed with a game called football manager. It was a way of life for many teenage boys in the U.K and many men also. When I first met Annemarie, I was still hooked on this game to her utter dismay. She would complain about the hours I spent on it and I knew she was right, but I couldn’t stop playing it. Or so I thought.

One day, I was on there playing at a critical stage in the season when the computer went nuts and totally ruined my game. I had spent hours on this, and within minutes it had all come crashing down around me. In that instant I felt the rage of frustration at what had happened, but also felt the huge a huge sense of silliness at the rage this had sent me in. Surely there is more to life than this I thought and in that moment I made the decision. I’m not playing this game ever again! I uninstalled the game from my computer and have never touched it again.

I don’t believe that these decisions can be forced, but I do believe that if you tap into a strong enough reason why, you can stir up enough emotional energy to make a decision stick. My decision to work-out and look after my body came directly after my dad passed away with a heart attack. After the grief and pain came the realisation that I was on the same road and I made the decision to change path.

The key question is Why?

Why become financially free?

Why do I want to lose weight?

Why do I want to live in that home?

Why do I want to quit my job?

These questions will help you become aware of your deepest motivations. If you have a strong enough reason why, any course of action seems possible.

I wish you the best

Shaun

The power of commitment

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Today I want to reflect upon the power of commitment in my life in order to help you see the value of developing the capacity to stay committed.

Commitment is as important as goal setting when attaining success and fulfilment in life. The areas where I am most committed in my life are to my wife,  my children and myself. Through examining the principle of commitment through these areas, I found really interesting patterns that can be applied to create commitment in other areas.

During our wedding ceremony, my wife and I made a commitment to each other. The vows we spoke to each other, explain the principle of commitment extremely well:

I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part

The words are so powerful because they show that commitment means constancy. We made the choice to stay together for the rest of our lives. Good times are easy, and everyone can enjoy those, but it’s those hard times when the commitments we have made have to be at the front of our minds and they call on us to remember what we have promised to each other and ourselves.When I lost my father, my wife was the one person who helped me through it and who I opened up to the most. She supported me when I was broken down and burnt out at work. She has reassured me during times when I doubted my own strength and capabilities. There have been times during the relationship where I have done the same for her. We support each other and make each other stronger. This is the principle of commitment in real life.

I sometimes wake up at crazy times during the night because of my commitment to my children. If Ava needs something at any moment day or night, we take care of it. Every night I put Nathan to bed. We read a story then he lies down and goes to sleep. I stay with him because I’m committed to spending time with him that is just us. That can be hard to do when work starts to pile up and I am only arriving home an hour before his bedtime. But the most important thing is that Nathan and I  have quality time every single day that we can. It is our responsibility to raise our children and we don’t take that lightly at all. This commitment does not waver and does not change. It is a powerful force that transcends mood, energy levels, and at times sanity. We do what we have to do for our children.

I have recently made the same level of commitment to myself in a few key areas of my life. In the past, I have allowed myself to be sidetracked by circumstances or my feelings about what I was trying to achieve. However, my growing understanding of the power of commitment has compelled me to try the things that were unsuccessful in the past. I now appreciate that having a reason why is the essence of true commitment. I have now created reasons why I must achieve those things I am striving for. Although this does not guarantee 100% compliance, it does mean that I am protecting those things that I hold important from my moods and feelings that can be influenced by so many different factors. There is no compromise or excuses to hide behind. I get the job done.

3. In order to get different results, I understand now that different choices need to be made. In order to take my life to a higher level, I must develop as a person. Keeping my word to myself is one of the key ways I can affect personal growth. For example, the lifestyle that I now lead is completely different to one that I used to have. Paradoxically, now that I have two children, I’m finding I actually spend more time on activities that will lead to personal growth. This is down to choices and the importance I see in becoming a role model for my children that they can really learn from. Down went the x box pad, and instead I spend my time listening to audiobooks and reading, writing blog posts, working out, spending time with my family and meeting with my mentor to help with my personal growth. I now see time as a currency to be spent and to be spent wisely. I have made the choice to focus very heavily on some key areas. I’m committed come rain or shine. My devotion will not falter.

What commitments have you made to yourself that are going to help you develop yourself and others around you?

Are you aware of the actions that you take and what this says about your commitments in your life?

Are your behaviours in congruence with your values?

These are the questions I have started to ask myself to make sure that I am on the right path. Being honest with yourself can be challenging, but it is worth it. Make some commitments for your own life that are going to get you to the places you want and need to be for real fulfilment.

Choose success

 

Will you be ready to take your opportunity?

Stand up now and face the sun
Won’t hide my tail or turn and run
It’s time to do what must be done
Be a king when kingdom comes

Aloe Blacc – The Man

I have been very blessed recently with the way that my work has been progressing. It has been pleasing to keep up a wave of successful momentum. The trick for me that has really helped has been my increased awareness of where I need to focus my energies to create personal growth.

My focus has been shifting to my inner world, and I am finally starting to see how I have been holding myself back in certain areas of my life and how that can spill over. Once I had decided to clean up and tidy my desk, that idea then started to effect other areas of my life. My car was brutal and had been for some time. Because I had made the choice to be oblivious in my classroom to the importance of order and tidiness, it was only when I tackled that that my awareness expanded to my car, my home, my kettlebell gym in the cellar, my work bag and the list goes on. I was changed fundamentally by the choice to raise my standards and as a result my perception of tidiness changed.

This has also effected the quality of my workouts and has become a wider mission to de-clutter and remove all things that do not advance my life in some way shape or form. My workouts are ruthlessly efficent, timed to the second and more intense than ever before. I find myself constantly asking, “What use is this ?” Is it going to help me move forward. As a result, there is far less variety in my workouts and I have decided to stick to half a dozen movements that will serve me the best for the next few months.

You may ask what the value in all this activity is and to be honest with you, I have asked myself that question in the past. I think I have finally stumbled on an answer that makes sense to me. I need to raise my standards in certain areas in order to raise my standards in all areas. I realised that the trait that successful happy people have is focus and high standards. My standards in some areas of my life were high, but in others I was more slack. As a result, those slack areas became bottlenecks and I was only as strong as my weakest link.

I am now attacking my organisation skills to get them to the highest level possible because that was one of my major bottlenecks. Disorganisation in my life would lead to making silly mistakes, being stressed about deadlines, procrastination, fear of failure and a whole host of other results that were not congruent with other areas of my life where I would find things easy. If I had not tackled this problem, when the next huge opportunity of a lifetime comes my way, my character would not have been strong enough to handle the responsibility of the position I will eventually find myself. To be as direct as possible, your actions tell people who you are more than your words ever could. Talent or circumstances can sometimes take us to places that our character cannot keep us.

Now I have spent time on strengthening my character, I feel ready to take on more. I have adapted to the phenomenal change of raising two young children, looking after myself and making sure my wife and I have enough time for each other, The change was a like a knockout punch, and I’m only now getting up, but I feel a hell of a lot stronger and more capable. Opportunities are starting to come my way. My contact with Alistair Smith bore fruit and we are going to meet in person and discuss some things. My mentor has been keen for me to start getting involved with the work that he is doing in building a base of mentors for young people across the U.K. I’m excited about the future, and mindful that I need to make sure I’m ready to be the king when my kingdom comes.

Invest the time in yourself to listen to your intuition and discover what your bottlenecks are. Non of us are perfect and I have many areas for development, but by tackling those things that have eluded you in the past head on, you feel more in control of your present situation and the future you can create for yourself.

I wish you the best

Shaun

 

Post 015: Forget new years resolutions! Do this instead.

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Seven rituals I’m going to maintain for 2014.

I used to make New years resolutions on the 1st of January and inevitably I wouldn’t keep them. I was puzzled as to why they didn’t work. I think now that the behaviour changes that I had proposed were not in alignment with how I viewed myself. Therefore the changes didn’t feel natural. Yet again, the new-year feeling is going to be hitting everyone. This is the only time of the year when most people take stock of how they have been doing and make an attempt to make things better for themselves. I will set some goals, but I am more focussed on developing powerful rituals that will lead to success, balance and happiness in all areas of my life.

1: Become focussed on constant improvement.

When I’m making progress with something, I feel better. I’ve noticed that focussing on becoming better in all areas is what leads to satisfaction. My goal is to think of small improvements that I could make in my health, relationships, family life and career and to start implementing them.

2: Give attention to all aspects of myself.

When I take care of all aspects of myself, I am a better person to be around. Developing my spirit makes me more appreciative of everything I have and my place in the world. Developing my mind gives me more information that helps with my decision making. Developing my heart allows me to see the true path that I should be following. This in turn affects the choices I make and the standards I set for myself. Developing my body gives me vital energy and strength. If I can be faithful to myself during the course of 2014, I will make tremendous progress with my goals.

3: Create the image of the person I want to be and be it now.

Counter intuitive as it sounds, acting as the person I want to be who already has all the things that I want will have a profound effect upon the choices I make and the way that I approach all situations. It sounds strange, but I need to see the world in the way I want it to be for me, which will then allow me to become that person. If I can’t see it first, then it will never become a reality. Seeing myself as a writer led to me starting this blog. Seeing myself as a loving husband and father allows me to focus on balance in my personal life. Seeing myself as financially free has made me start small steps towards that goal already.

4: Become in tune with my feelings.

Antony Robbins believes that all feelings that we have give us messages and clues that we need to take some action of some kind. When I ignored my feelings in the past, they didn’t go away but became gradually stronger. They started as a whisper, then a shout and then a scream that forced everything else out of my head and took all of my attention. I don’t want that happening again, so I now choose to acknowledge my feelings and heed the message that my intuition is giving me.

5: Use my voice.

In the past I have been someone who hasn’t always expressed themselves. I sometimes did this through fear of my ideas being rejected or because I didn’t want to come across as confrontational. When I think of the person I want to become that will lead to having the things I want to have, using my voice is an essential aspect of that person. I have come to accept that not everyone will think the same as me and that’s ok. There will be times when people are going to doubt my view and doubt me. I now realise that other people’s opinions of me is of no concern of mine. When you can let go of caring about what everyone thinks of you, you feel so much lighter and free. In the past I have been so shackled by the opinions of others that it has stopped me taking action. This can happen no more.

6: Being awake and aware.

Everything we need is all around us if we just look. I have sometimes said to some of the children in my class that they are asleep with their eyes open. What I mean by that is that they are not fully engaged with the activity that is happening around them and as a result have limited returns from their learning. I have been guilty of this sometimes in my own life. I have been somewhere physically, but have not engaged fully with the environment or people around me. This tends to be when I am lost in my head over thinking things. I am going to really focus on developing my awareness of what is happening around me and the messages I am being sent. Feedback is only as valuable as what you do with it. The most successful students I have had take on board my ideas for how they can get better and develop rapidly. I want to model that student teacher relationship with experiences in my life. I want to become aware of the possibilities that are available to me, and being more conscious and in control of my state.

7:  Counting my blessings

I live an awesome life. As I write this, I have a beautiful wife, an amazing young son, a baby on the way (any minute now) and I have a career. I know what direction I want to take my life in the future, and I am willing to make the necessary changes to myself in order to get closer to my goals. I must never forget to appreciate my life. My mindset is one of appreciation and gratitude. Money will come and go. There will be good and bad times. Right now, things are awesome but I know the seasons of life always change. Some events will be so bad, that I will want to give up. I know this and accept it and will do everything in my power even within those hard times, to count the blessings that I have at that point and to persist.

I hope that these rituals will help me to manifest everything that I want for myself and my family in 2014 and beyond. When I approach my goals with these rituals in place, then my chances of success are far greater because of the person I will become.

Best wishes for the end of 2013 and the start of 2014. Are there any goals or aspirations that you are aiming for this up and coming year?

Go for them with enthusiasm and intensity.

Here’s to your success.