Want to learn the skills of the world’s greatest persuaders?

Do you find yourself banging your head against a brick wall when dealing with other people? Maybe you would like to learn how to persuade people that you have a good idea. It might be that you want to convince your child that going to bed is a good idea, or trying to convince your boss that you are the right person for the promotion.
This book could save you many headaches. This book will provide you with many solutions if you follow it. I honestly believe that this book if studied and applied could give you the skills to negotiate any issue or situation that involves dealing with other people. The book I’m talking about is the classic novel ‘How to win friends and influence people,’ I’ve not been re-reading it for long, but there are some principles that just ring true with how things should be with your relationships with others.
You will find this book to still be relevant even though it was first published way back in 1936. Human nature hasn’t changed that much. I plan to produce a much longer study of the book in future posts, but here are some of my main takeaway points so far. If these sound like ideas you would like to explore further, then I strongly recommend you read or listen to the whole book.
Principle 1: Criticism is useless. This is a massive concept and a huge challenge to normal thinking. People revere critics and are encouraged to take on board criticism and take responsibility for mistakes. Carnegie argues that people very rarely blame themselves for anything. Now this isn’t the ideal, we are dealing with reality here and 9 times out of ten, wouldn’t you agree that this is true? The book explains an alternative to criticism. Hint: it starts within.
Principle 2: People only do something because they want to do it. This idea is so simple, and yet so true. We can be forced to do things in the short term and through aggression and fear. True leaders create great enthusiasm through the way they treat their employees. If you would like to learn the secrets of these great leaders, then this book has the answers.
Principle 3: Become genuinely interested in other people. This principle explains the uncanny ability some people have to gain rapport with others very quickly. If you would like to learn how these things are done, then you might want to have a look at this book.
I know I’m probably preaching to the converted here, because most people who seem to read my blog are interested in their own personal development and growth. If you want some fresh new ideas on how to really get people on your side, in a genuine organic way, then read this book. I absolutely love it and am trying to bring some of these key principles into my life right now.
Be awesome.
Shaun

Love, crazy work and accepting my body. What a week!

Reflection is so important. It allows us to spot patterns, replay important events and take stock on our life. Reflection allows us to also show gratitude for what we have as well as giving us pointers to reach the goals we want in the future. Each week I am going to quickly reflect on my week in different ways. Gratitude, achievements, health, and life.
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Gratitude.
My wife and I had our date night this Monday. Every month on the 10th, my wife has organised for us to do something together that I have no idea about. This has been to celebrate the 10th year of our relationship. In that time we have more fantastic memories than I can count. So my main area of gratitude this week to reflect on is the incredible journey my wife and I have been on so far and all the ways that she has helped me to become the person I am today. I love you Annemarie.
Achievements.
I managed to keep on top of my workload in a very intense week at school. I had an observation, a load of paperwork to get in, a book scrutiny, and on top of that, I actually had to do some teaching. Despite the work schedule, I managed to keep on top of my stress levels and had a good week. I also really wanted to keep posting on my blog and I have managed to do that as well.
Health
I’ve been trying to work on my perception of what healthy is. I have written about this quite recently.
https://sbrowne83.wordpress.com/2014/10/29/what-is-health/
Due to this, I have started re-reading the Gabriel method. This is a fantastic health book that takes a much more holistic view of being our best physically. The author Jon Gabriel revolutionised his own health and sorted out his psychology as well as his body.
My perception of my own body has always been slightly warped. I have realised that there have been not many moments in my life when I have satisfied and happy with my weight. So at the minute, fat loss is not important to me. I have to work on self acceptance of my own body at any weight. So my health goal is one I can imagine many can relate to. I want to have a healthy image of my self. I’m going to work on becoming happy with my body. This is so important because it will impact not just on me, but on my children too. If they see daddy constantly unhappy with his body and subtly putting himself down, they will think it is normal to do themselves. I want to address this not just for me but for the sake of my children.
What have been your main take home points from this week?
What are you looking forward to next week?
They are the main things floating around in my head as I prepare for another week to begin. I hope you all have an awesome week.
I wish you the best
Shaun

Why the E-Myth is a must read for those interested in business.

I just finished reading an excellent book that has been around for years. It’s called the E-Myth and starts by painting a picture of working in business that intimidated and scared me into thinking that I couldn’t possibly do it. More than that, I would always ponder why someone would go through so many intense challenges just for the sake of their business. 

Gerber attributes the failure of many small businesses not to a lack of skill, but to lack of knowledge about what the priorities are. The image of the small business owner as the lone crusader in a fight to keep the business going is a reality for some people. Someone close to me was having many very similar challenges quite recently with their business. Gerber then proceeds to describe an alternative way to establish, run and grow a business so that it achieves predictable results of success. Now obviously, that isn’t a guarantee, but the main ideas that I took away from the book were:

* Your business should become your vehicle and help you to live the life you want to, not become a burden and source of misery.

* In the words of Stephen Covey, beginning with the end in mind will ensure that you have a broader vision of what you want your company to eventually blossom into.

* The best businesses have create a culture that compels everyone connected to it to produce good work. This is down to creating an environment of purpose where each person feels their work is valued and important.

* Well thought out systems of operation go a long way to making sure that people who enter the business understand exactly what is required of them meaning that business owners can focus on strategy rather than technical work.

* Well planned systems means that your business can operate without you even being there. Thus creating the freedom that all business owners went into enterprise for in the first place.

* The organisational hierarchy of the company should be created at it’s inception, not when the company grows as that might be too late.

*Discovering your primary aim (The reason why you want to start a business) will help you make decisions about the company that allow it suit your needs and wants. 

If any of these ideas or concepts interest you, I would strongly encourage you read the book. I gained a huge amount from it, and will no doubt be referring back to it over and again once I start creating my own business.

I wish you the best

Shaun

My insights from “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.” by Robin Sharma

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I’m indebted to my good friend for this blog post. He was the one who bought this book for me as a gift on my birthday. He had told me how much he enjoyed it and so I looked forward to seeing what I could take from it. There are some major principles to be found in this book that will have a major impact on your life if you take the advice on board.

Principle 1: Control and cultivate positive thoughts at all times.

“Enlightened thinkers know that their thoughts form their world and the quality of one’s life comes down to the richness of one’s thoughts. If you want to live a more peaceful, meaningful life, you must think more peaceful, meaningful thoughts.” Pg 52

There are several quotes throughout the book that point to the power of the mind to create the world around you. This comes from the paradigm that your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Therefore negative thoughts create a negative environment internally which creates negativity externally. One action point suggested is to replace any negative thought instantly with a positive one. I’ve found this to be challenge at times, but its getting easier and definitely helps with keeping things in perspective. A good example would be if I am fed up with a child in class, if I have a negative thought about that child, I then think about what good I could do for them if I maintain a positive attitude and focus only on helping them improve. I think the trick is to see the reality of the situation, but see it from a positive perspective. Kidding yourself with fake positivity doesn’t work.

Principle 2: Kaizen: Constant and never ending improvement.

“You practice the art of Kaizen by pushing yourself daily. Work hard to improve your mind and body. Nourish your spirit. Do the things you fear. …………………….. Do the things you have always wanted to do but tricked yourself into believing you were too old, too rich or too poor. Prepare to live a soaring, fully alive life. In the East they say that luck favours the prepared mind. I believe that life favours the prepared mind.” Pg 100

This is a powerful principle. It could be the most poignant within the whole book for me personally because it sums up beautifully the pursuit of personal development or progress in any area. We all long to improve and get better. This principle tells us that fear and doubt are the blockers of progress. If we are to truly progress, we must eliminate the bottleneck of fear that can stand in our way. I am now at war with my fears. I pick a fear, and will focus on trying my best to eliminate that fear from myself. For example, although I am a good singer, I developed a real fear of singing out and showing off my voice. I think that fear is linked to a host of other ideas such as fear of being humiliated in public, the fear of making a mistake in public and the fear of being rejected. What a list! To combat this, I am going to be singing the first dance song for my best friend’s wedding at the end of May. This will be in front of all my friends and family. Am I scared? Absolutely! But I now recognise that growth lies on the other side of fear. If we can master our fears and see them as obstacles to overcome, we can reach personal greatness far faster as nothing will be able to stop us.

Action point: Try to identify some of your fears and then go to work on eliminating them when you are ready. This is challenging and takes serious self-reflection but I believe the rewards are more than worth the initial effort.

“When you conquer your fears, you conquer your life.” Pg 101

Principle 3: The power of rituals.

“You sow a thought, you reap an action. Reap an action, you sow a habit. Sow a habit, you reap a character. Sow a character, you reap a destiny.”

Robin invites us to start cultivating certain actions into our lives that will help to improve the quality of your life experience. They are all powerful ideas. The synergy of these rituals is what makes this a highly effective book. Each idea flows well into each other. So when you read them, you will see that it wouldn’t be as challenging to incorporate all of these ideas into your daily life as it might sound. For the sake of brevity, I will just list the rituals very briefly.

1: Solitude – silence and peace

2: Physicality – movement and breathing

3: Nourishment – live healthy foods

4: Life-long learning – commitment to reading

5: Personal reflection

6: Wake up early

7: Music – raise your spirits

8: Using mantras

9: Congruence – when intent and action match up.

10: Simplicity – “Reduce your needs…… unless you reduce your needs you will never be fulfilled.” Pg 135

Action point: If you are interested in taking on some of these ideas, then do an audit on yourself and see where your biggest gap lies. The chances are, that you will be partaking in some of these rituals anyway, but there may be something missing that might just complete your wellbeing jigsaw. For me, I had never tried mantras before and I have started trying to use these in quiet moments of reflection. One mantra suggested in the book to try is: “ I am more than I appear to be, all the world’s strength and power rests in me.” Pg 153.

Principle 4: Live with discipline.

This concept isn’t new to anyone and is so simple to say, but challenging to do. Mastering our will and doing things that are important but not urgent is the cornerstone of this principle. Learning to delay gratification and keep the bigger picture in mind is something that I battle with daily. Just half an hour before writing this, I had been tempted to watch the T.V for an hour or so instead of finishing my blog post. What is helping with this is my raised level of awareness about what I am doing and the consequences it might have. I judge the value of my choices much more than I used to and this helps to develop my discipline. I have a long way to go with this, but I can see improvements.

Principle 5: Value your time. It is all you really have.

“ The most important moment is now. Learn to live in it and savour it fully.”

Another powerful concept and one that is persistent in many books I have read recently is the importance of time and understanding how important it is. Sharma talks about the need to keep life simple in the aims and goals that you set for yourself. He also talks about having the courage to say no when it is appropriate and people are trying to take your time away from you in a way you don’t like. I have been guilty of this in the past and now make a conscious effort to speak out when I feel my time is being wasted either by a person or an activity. I also try to stay conscious of when I am wasting my own time. I have developed a little mantra for this that I say to myself. Make each day memorable. I try and make sure that within each day I search for the things that make that day unique and special. Today it was taking some children after school for football training. We all had a great time and the children are developing their skills. Watching one of the children charge through some nettles to get one of the balls back was a memorable moment for me and a painful one for him! It’s the little things that count. It doesn’t have to be a grand Hollywood moment every day.

Living for the day used to have connotations of recklessness for me, and for some that may be how they choose to interpret it. For me it means being engaged and connected to the world around you. Taking time and energy to fully invest yourself into whatever it is you are doing, and making sure your life is full of awesome memories. I live for the day when I play fight with my son, or take a moment to just breathe and take in my surroundings. I appreciate where I am and who I am with. Living for the day means mind body heart and spirit are awake and engaged. It is the best way to live.

“ Today is the day to live fully, not when you win the lottery or when you retire. Never put off living.” Pg 184

Action point: I have started a journal that I write in for five minutes at night before bed. This action alone is powerful in helping you to remember key moments and insights from the day. It allows you to also learn from the lessons that are staring you right in the face. Try it for 20 days and see what you can learn about yourself.

Principal 6: Serve the world.

This was a powerful insight for me. This quote sums it up and there isn’t much more to say beyond that as it is perfect:

“The quality of your life will come down to the quality of your contribution.”

I am proud of the blog I have created because I made a conscious choice to share my thoughts with others and give them new things to ponder and think about. In my own little way, I am sending out a message and it feels good to do that. Therefore the quality of my life feels better. There are so many ways we can do this in our day to day lives.

Action point: Think about what you can contribute to others that is of value. Contribution adds to your sense of belonging to the world and massively benefits those who receive your kindness.

These are the powerful ideas that I took from the book, but there are many more in there as well. I would invite anybody to read the book who is looking for a refreshing way to view the world and our place in it. I would also suggest that people who seem out of balance or overwhelmed give this book a try. It could help them to see that they need to take the time to care for themselves before they burn out and forget how to enjoy life.

Choose success

 

 

Ideas for taking B.M.H.S forward.

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Just a short blog post today. I have been thinking about what I could do in order to improve upon what I am already putting out on my blog at the moment. I’ve decided that one change I will make is the sharing of powerful ideas and insights that I have discovered from other people.

For example, I am currently reading “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” by Robin Sharma. When I have finished with that book, I will share on here the main lessons and insights that I have gained from it. It will be less of a review of the book in terms of a recommendation and more of a sharing of the ideas and principles that resonated with me and I believe have value.

I believe that I should share these ideas that I get from other sources more regularly as it will allow me to post more often, and to give people ideas about where they might want to look for resources that will help them in their lives.

I will also take the time to re-visit some of my favourite books of the last couple of years and do the same thing with them. Books have the unique ability to give us the insights and expertise of experts without us having to meet them directly. The right book at the right time can change the philosophy or direction of a person’s life. It would be wrong of me not to share the great wisdom of these amazing authors.

I plan to do this with any art form that has inspired me in some way with it’s content. Be it music, film, theater, the list is endless.

What inspiration have you found through the masterpieces of others?

Choose success

Shaun.